♥ Making a difference.. ♥

A lot of people has been sharing this over the facebook wall few days ago, but i can't help but share this message again on my blog. This is a very uplifting message especially to all the overworked doctors, nurses, medical assistants and health care personnel out there.

Somebody asked : "You're a Doctor? How much do you make?"

I replied : " HOW MUCH DO I MAKE? "

I can make holding your hand seem like the most important thing in the world when you are scared...

I can make your child breathe when they stop...

I can make your father survive a heart attack...

I can make myself wake up at 4AM to make sure your mother has the medicine she needs to live...And I will work straight through until 4 AM to keep her alive and start the day all over again!

I work all day to save the lives of strangers..

I will drop everything and run a code blue for hours trying to keep you alive!!

I make my family wait for dinner until i know your family member is taken care of...

I make myself skip lunch so that i can make sure everything i did for your wife today is correct...

I work weekends and holidays and all through the night because people don't just get sick Monday through Saturday and during normal working hours.

Today i might save your life..

How much do i make?

All i know is, i make a difference.

Sometimes when you need to work through the weekends and holidays while your family and friends get to enjoy life out there, you wonder why on earth did you chose this job in the first place.

Sometimes when you compare yourself with your friends who work less hours a week but earn much more than you do, you wonder if you should just quit and do their job instead.

Sometimes when you are sick and sneezing away but you still have to see 200 patients a day without rest and yet they complain that they have waited for hours although they are sick, you wonder what about me then??

Sometimes when you do so much for others and start compromising yourself and the people around you, you begin to wonder to yourself "no, this is not what i want my life to be".

When work frustrations take over you, always remember that you make a difference, no matter how small the contribution can be. 

It could be just a small act of setting a branula for a patient so that he can get the IV medications he need to relieve his pain or to get his heart beat again.

It could be something simple like giving high flow mask or preparing a neb so that patient can breath like he normally do again.

It could be as simple as writing a prescription of syrup paracetamol for a child and assure the anxious mother that it's just a simple viral fever so that she could have a peace of mind and have a good sleep at night.

Yes, you do make a difference..No, your pay wouldn't change and your workload and working hours is not gonna reduce, but by reminding yourself that you make a difference everyday, you would change your attitude towards work and probably make your day happier and more meaningful.

♥ Pretty Little Things.. ♥

“Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.”

Meredith Grey - Grey's Anatomy

As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients... and how to take care of each other. Eventually, we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope. 

Meredith Grey- Grey's Anatomy

Peace isn’t a permanent state. It exists in moments… fleeting. Gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time.. In a stranger’s act of kindness. A task that requires complete focus. Or simply the comfort of an old routine. Every day, we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they’re happening so that we can embrace them. Live in them. And finally… let them go.

Derek Shepherd - ‘Give Peace a Chance’

Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.

LETTING GO IS GROWING UP.

It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.

To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and

… SET YOURSELF FREE.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill… You’d lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming. They were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely ‘cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they’ll open their eyes and it will all come true.


 At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realise that the fairy tale might be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happy ever after, just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away.

Meredith Grey - ‘Save Me’

♥ At a crossroad.. ♥

Tired...

Exhausted....

Too much to think about...

Possibilities..

Responsibilities..

Decisions to make..

Should I conform to the norm..

Or should i take the road less traveled..

Should i just be contented at what i have..

Or should i long for more..

I need a new motivation..

A new direction..

Like a lost sheep..

Looking for a shepherd to guide my soul..

For i am at a crossroad..

And i don't know where to go..

♥ A thousand years.. ♥

When i listen to a song, i don't just listen to the melody, but more so i ponder upon the lyrics. I believe that the songs that you listen to somehow speaks of your personality and your inner thoughts; things that you would like to express but somehow when put into speech is difficult to express. And i don't know why but I am in love with this song for quite some time and it's playing over and over again on my playlist=) ♥ 

A Thousand Years

By Christina Perri

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

♥ A Marriage is.... Beautiful ♥

Witnessing a marriage is really beautiful.. Marriage.. It's when 2 people makes the commitment to be together for the rest of their life; accepting each others' differences; sharing life's bittersweet moments; always together in sickness and in health. 

Some sees marriage as a burden, some rush into it because of accidents, some use up a few years to plan for their dream wedding. But no matter what the circumstances are, when vows are exchanged, one should always remember and honour it.

Genesis 2:22-24 : Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, " This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of a man." For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

I was at my cousin's wedding dinner last weekend and my uncle gave a speech that night which i believed left a big impression to everyone who was present that night. " It's okay for couples to quarrel, but at the end of the day, u must not forget to say three big words"..  The first thing that comes to your mind?? I LOVE YOU.. No,you are wrong..haha.. Actually, the 3 words are " You are right, my dear". Always say this before you sleep to your partner, just to keep the peace at home" 

So at the end of the day, marriage is not all about love only. It's about trust, tolerance, acceptance, sacrifice and understanding between two different people; so that two hearts can unite and become one to form a family and a life together. The goal of a marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.

As scary as the commitments might sound, marriage is still a beautiful thing because i believe every marriage is God's plan and a match made in Heaven.  ♥ 

♥ A child at heart.. ♥

A child's world is simple

Little things make them happy

They don't hide emotions when they are sad

Their minds are innocent

Their smile is genuine

They let you know when they want something

They are always protected by people around them

No worries of tomorrow

Just enjoying the moment as it is today

No doubt everyone has to grow up someday

and face the challenges and worries that was once so far away

At some point of our lives, we will turn back and think

" I miss being young, I miss being me as a child"

Age may be catching up

Time cannot turn around

But we can still be a child at heart, 

Just enjoying the simple pleasures life has to offer

Have a lollipop,

Blow a bubble,

Go on a swing,

Sing your hearts out and dance like no one is around,

It could be anything; as long as it makes you feel like a child at heart again

Worries and problems in life will never go away and keeps on adding

So be a child at heart sometimes..

and you will come to see and realize the beauty of it=) ♥

♥ Remembering Ah Gong and Popo during CNY ♥

It's Chinese New Year again. During this time as we celebrate this joyous occasion, i am reminded of the people and the memories that are dear to my heart..

I could still remember 3 years ago, back in 2009, i was back as usual one day before CNY eve. We went over to Ah Gong's place. Ah Gong has been having on and off fever for the past one week; it was just a fever, prior to that he was a fairly healthy man. Ah Gong asked for me, whether i came back and i went over to greet him. Daddy felt Ah Gong's forehead and he was cold. We put a blanket over him, greeted him goodbye and headed home. That night, Ah Gong was still happily telling stories about his past to my aunt and uncle who came home to celebrate CNY. Who would have thought it was the last goodbye. Mummy woke me up the morning of CNY eve and told me Ah Gong was gone. He died peacefully in his sleep.

Being an ex-headmaster, Ah Gong was strict and he has his temper. He was very thrifty and calculative when it comes to money. Back then, we couldn't understand why. But after he was gone, only then we realized his true intentions. He was thrifty so that his children and grandchildren can enjoy the fruits of his labor. We set up a fund with the money he left us for gatherings and special occasions. I believe it was Ah Gong's way of keeping the family together after he was gone.

And 2 days ago as i step back into my Popo's ( my grandmother as we used to call her) house, when everyone was busy eating and chatting, something else caught my attention. It was an oxygen tank hidden at the end of my grandfather's bed. Those who read my previous blog earlier http://calyn-l-o-v-e.blogspot.com/2010/04/memories-of-popo.html would have known that popo suffered from bronchiectasis and was oxygen dependent during her last years of her life. Looking at the oxygen tank brought a surge of emotions as i was reminded of the times i celebrated CNY with her. When i was younger, i enjoyed going over to her house on CNY eve to watch her " pai tian gong" and listen to the sound of loud firecrackers. I missed the times when i would just sit and eavesdrop when she is chatting with other relatives during CNY to get updates on how others are doing.

Chinese New Year is a time for celebration; we eat, we drink and we enjoy ourselves with family and friends. But i think somehow or rather, we can't deny that the older generations play an important role during these times. They are the ones who hold the key to uniting the family together. They may not participate much in conversations or show their love openly, but they are the reason everyone comes back for reunion.  Their smile warm our hearts and it puts a smile on our face as well.

The mood for CNY is somewhat different without Ah Gong and Popo around. But i know that they are watching us from afar and they will be glad knowing that they are still remembered in the midst of the celebration. I miss you Ah Gong and Popo!! ♥