Goodbye, 2013

This blog has been dead for so long.. But felt like sharing something today..

Ironically, this is the first and the last post for the year 2013.. posted on day 365 of year 2013.

To sum up my year, 2013 was basically a year of responsibilities and decision makings, especially job related. Being a medical officer means you are now independent on your feet, making decisions on your own and taking responsibility of your house officers. Working in the emergency department, a lot of those decisions are within split seconds.. to intubate or not intubate a patient.. to do or not to do certain x ray when you think it is not indicated but patient and family members demands it to be done.. to admit or discharge a patient, and if admit, to admit to which specialty/department.. It is really not easy and honestly speaking, i still have sleepless nights and palpitations before going to work, especially when i need to handle red zone or yellow zone alone.

A big part of 2013 was also to decide on what i want to do next.. I know, everyone has been asking me the same question " so what you want to specialize in ah?".. seriously, after a year of asking myself the same question over and over again everyday, i still do not have the answer. Probably i have been in ED for too long.. Seeing people get into accidents with head injuries and fractures that would change their lives forever; young seemingly healthy people suddenly collapse and dies.. Life is so fragile and i do not know what is next. Makes me just wanna live life as it without throwing myself into another 4-5 years of hard work and stress but to regret the lost of time later if something do happen.  One year back, i was at the crossroad and now i still am. Feels like being trapped in a car, lost on a road full of moving cars; i see my friends and colleagues moving on but i can't seem to move anywhere. That's basically where i am right now.

On a happier note, 2013 has brought a lot of sweet memories.. Going on trips with family and friends, exploring different parts of the world with my camera, sharing the joy of 2 hearts uniting together as one, sharing the joy of my sister's graduation.. The highlights of all would probably be my HK/Macau trip and the photo i captured winning 1st prize in The Star's Mother's Day contest. 

But 2013 ended with a sad note for me, as i lost a dear friend and sister in Christ, Adelene Joyce William to SLE. Today at work, i encountered another young patient with SLE who came in for fever and it really reminded me of her and what she has gone through Still hard to believe that she is gone forever.

I am working double shift today on the last day of 2013,working overnight seeing patients when everyone is out celebrating.. but i will not whine today because looking back, there is just so much blessings that i have received from God and i am just happy that i am as alive and healthy as i am today and blessed with wonderful family and friends around to support me. Though i do secretly hope for a good shift tonight with no patients..haha.. which is most probably not going to happen=))

Thank you 2013 for the memories.. Welcome 2014, please be good and wishing everyone a blessed and Happy New Year!!


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